kayytx:

imagine a webcomic that happens to be really popular among everyone in the marvel universe.

it’s called “not the avengers” and follows the everyday life of these people who are definitely absolutely not superheroes.

main characters include tiny stork, stove roberts, nataliasha romanon, bruin banter, clunk bourbon, and thot

supporting characters: buckwheat burns, pewter parlor, jammed roads, piper parts, hippy hoagie, scotch link, and sim winston

special appearances by: t’chacha, neck furry, and mardi gras hull

the art for the comic isn’t particularly great. actually, it’s mostly just stick figures with defining features for each character. it kind of looks like a first grader could have done it.

but still, the content is entertaining, and everyone who starts reading it is immediately hooked, including the avengers. they all read it. they think it’s hilarious and keep up with the latest updates, and they talk to each other about it during their team dinners.

…until they start to realize that a lot of what happens in the comic tend to hit a little too close to home.

in one issue, bruin and thot had been set up on a blind date with each other. just two weeks before that, tony and natasha had finally been fed up with bruce and thor’s pining and tricked them into going on a date together.

in another issue stove and tiny got kicked out of ikea for messing around while ~playing house~ which is exactly what happened to steve and tony on one of their dates when they first got together.

one other issue shows clunk coming home with a bloody nose, after being attacked by birds–that he thought were his “friends”–in central park. that exact thing happened to clint when he was going back to the tower after training one day.

soon, everyone starts getting suspicious, trying to figure out who it is in the team that’s been drawing this comic. because obviously, it has to be one of them. the artist knows too much for it not to be a mole hidden among this little circle of friends.

they all start accusing each other.

“it’s tony!” clint says. “he obviously got jarvis to spy on us and turned it into a comic.”

“what? you think i have the time to do something like this, birdbrain??” tony responds, outraged. “it’s you, isn’t it, natasha? you see everything, you know way too much. it’s definitely you.”

natasha scoffs. “please, i have better things to do than that.” she looks thoughtfully at steve. “i bet it’s cap.”

“nah,” bucky says. “have you seen steve’s art? if he were to draw a comic wouldn’t it be more detailed and not..stick figures?? maybe it’s wilson. seems like something he would do.”

the arguing continues for a full half hour, and by the time they’re all too tired to keep going, they still haven’t figured out who did it. they decide, you know what? it’s not worth it. whoever’s drawing the comic has been keeping this secret for so long already, and they aren’t doing anything bad, so it doesn’t even matter. so they forget about it and carry on with their lives.

(after bucky defended steve and got the attention off of him, steve breathed out a sigh of relief. he was glad he didn’t have to deny it, because he didn’t want to outright lie, but nat was right.

it was steve.

he chose to draw stick figures precisely so that no one would suspect he was the artist.)