Drafts of comment responses I will never send

whenas-in-silks:

aka what I really mean when I say, “thank you, I’m so glad you liked it! <3,” an incomplete list

• Marry me.
• This makes me want to claw my own face off and eat it, but like, in a good way.
• That “heart-eyes motherfucker” gif, but projected simultaneously onto every billboard in Times Square
• You’re clearly delusional but I’m into it.
• As we speak a tattoo artist is inking your words onto my lower back so they will be a part of me forever. The pain is excruciating.
• not to be weird but i would crawl through boiling pitch for you
• Let’s move to Reno and rob a casino together.

• That is so sweet that I just had three successive panic attacks over the idea
  of trying to fulfill your hypothetical expectations.

• *sobbing into the microphone as the tuesday night karaoke audience looks on in horror and consternation* AND I WOULD WALK FIVE HUNDRED MILES AND I WOULD WAL
• Through your kind remarks, I have ascended to a higher plane of existence; lacking corporeal form I will sadly be unable to finish the story in this medium but will attempt to beam the remaining plot directly into your dreams through a series of dire portents symbologists will take decades to fully decipher
• u ever want someone to help u dispose of a body lmk i got 20 gallons of industrial strength drain cleaner and nothing left to lose