Battlebot Love Story

(A little something inspired by watching Battlebots.)

“Bruce is not the driver?” Tony asked as he evaluated the opposing team standing just a few feet away. A tall brawny blond had stepped up with a controller in his hands with Bruce and Sam hanging back.

Rhodey shook his head. “He didn’t say anything to me.”

Tony shrugged. Bruce had been Team IronBot for a couple years until he struck out on his own after a nasty argument over IronBot’s spinner mounts. It hadn’t even been a loud or long argument but clearly Bruce Had Opinions. Tony felt a little bad that Sam followed. But he had still had Rhodey in his corner and IronBot had stampeded over the competition this tournament.

Now they were about to fight Incredible Hulk, a huge flipper robot painted obnoxious shades of green and purple and apparently being driven by a man in a too tight t-shirt.

And too cute for Tony to easily ignore.

“You know, if you keep staring like that, we’ll miss the starting buzzer,” Rhodey said.

“I’m not staring.”

Next to Rhodey, Peter bounced on the balls of his feet, fueled by adrenaline and an appalling amount of coffee. “Um, Mr. Stark, they noticed the staring.”

Bruce decked out in his Team Hulk t-shirt shuffled over to Tony. “Tony? No hard feelings?” he asked, offering a handshake.

Tony warmly shook his hand. “We’re good. Especially after we pound you into the floor of the arena.”

The guy in the tight t-shirt looked over at him and Bruce, a quizzical look on his pretty pretty face. Bruce looked back forth from his driver to Tony and back again. “Hmmm,” he said, having measured up the situation. “If you win, I’ll introduce you to my driver. But if you lose – and you’re going to lose – you’ll only get to meet him when we win the tournament.”

“No biggie, Brucie, IronBot is going to win.”

“Uh, Mr. Stark,” Peter said, tugging on his shirt. “They’ve been undefeated so far.”

“Pfft. Not for much longer.”

“Not if you get distracted by that guy,” Rhodey muttered under his breath.

The lights dimmed and the countdown began. Tony stole a glance at the competition standing there. Too bad Tony was about to –

The buzzer rang too loud in Tony’s ears. And next thing he knew the Incredible Hulk hurtled down the battlebox towards IronBot. His spinner hadn’t gained enough speed yet. Then the Hulk flipped him high into the air. Tony watched his bot not so gracefully land hard while the crowd went wild.

It Was Now On.

IronBot hadn’t lost in a long long time. And he wasn’t going to lose to Bruce and his team. He surged forward.

Except that the Hot Guy on Bruce’s team was the most aggressive driver he’d ever run into. Tony tried every trick in his book but he couldn’t shake the guy as they raced around the arena slamming into each other.

Tony saw it before it happened but was helpless to stop it. The other driver had been setting this up from the beginning, the perfect hit. Tony watched in horror as the Incredible Hulk viciously hit IronBot. IronBot flew again into the air and landed wrong. The spinner mount fractured and IronBot skittered uncontrollably across the floor. Until his beautiful robot died in a corner of the arena.

At least the other driver had the class not to do a celebration dance while Rhodey mourned with him.

Tony sat late at night trying to revive IronBot. He’d get to be in a consolation tournament at least if his robot could fight. He poked around the spinner mount. He’d have to weld something in the morning since Rhodey wasn’t going to let him when he hadn’t slept in twelve hours.

“Tony Stark?” a nice baritone voice asked.

He looked bleary-eyed up at the hot guy from Bruce’s team. Who had destroyed his robot. “Yeah?”

“Bruce and Rhodey told me you’d be here. I’m Steve,” Steve said

“You’re a great driver,” he replied.

“You design great robots.” Steve put his hand on IronBot. “I was wondering if you’d be looking for a driver.”

“What? Incredible Hulk is moving on –”

Steve shook his head. “It’s died after we took it out of the arena – IronBot broke something and Bruce won’t be able to fix it with the equipment we have on hand. He thought maybe I could help you.”

Tony smiled. Bruce wasn’t such a bad friend after all, even if he had wrong ideas about fighting robots. “Glad to meet you, Steve. Sounds like a great idea. Want to talk about it over dinner?”

“Sure,” Steve agreed with a angelic smile. “I was hoping you’d ask.”